Commonwealth Games athletes to be protected by trained monkey guards
Wed Sep 29,2010 11:48 AM ET By Rick Chandler

It's the paragraph that no athlete wants to read as he prepares to unpack in a strange country: Heavy monsoon rains have caused flooding near the Games Village causing many snakes to seek refuge. Apparently the Commonwealth Games is being overrun by deadly poisonous snakes, plus wild dogs and, of course, Jehovah's Witnesses. The solution? Dehli organizers have employed a small army of security monkeys to patrol the Village. Sounds reasonable to me. Excuse me sir, is that a banana? I'm going to have to confiscate that. Have any peanuts to declare?